Materialistic Lawyer

Lexus GS 300
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A very successful attorney parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out, a truck came along too closely and completely tore off the driver’s door.

Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are,” he said. “You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most import ant things in life.”

“How can you say such a thing?” asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, “Don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!”

“OH, MY GOD!!!” screamed the lawyer.

(keep reading)

“My Rolex !!!!”

Good – Better – Best

GOOD
In Warwick, a Rhode Island State Trooper was running
radar. He had a  perfect spot to watch for speeders,
but wasn’t  getting any. Then he discovered the problem.
A 12 year old boy was  standing up the road with a hand
painted sign which read ‘RADAR TRAP  AHEAD!’ The
officer later found a young accomplice down the road
with a sign reading,’TIPS’ and a bucket full of money.
(Beats a lemonade  stand!)

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his  car speeding
through an automated radar post in Cranston, RI   A
$40.00 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he
sent the  police department a picture of$40.00.   The
police responded  with another mailed photo of
handcuffs.

BEST
A  young woman was pulled over in Providence, RI
for speeding. As the RI  State Trooper walked to her car
window, flipping open his ticket book,  she said, ‘I bet
you are going to sell me a ticket to the Rhode  Island
State Police Ball.’ He replied, ‘ RI State Troopers
don’t  have balls.’  There was a moment of silence
while she smiled and he  realized what he’d just said.
He then closed his book, got back in his  patrol car and
left.   She was laughing too hard to start her  car.