OLD TIMER SEX

 

This is too funny to be dirty – enjoy!

 
The husband leans over and asks his wife,’Do you remember the first time we had sex together over  fifty years ago?
We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’ 

‘Yes’, she says, ‘I remember it well.’ 

‘OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time‘s sake?’ 

‘Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’ 

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. 

So he follows them. 

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks..Finally,they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence..

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen..

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises     and moaning and screaming. Finally,they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed.He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering,

the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on.

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,’Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,’Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.

Do You Like ~ Spaghetti!

Fideos and other Italian dishes are features o...
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SPAGHETTI… …

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several
years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in
him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his
marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money, if she would go to
Italy to secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide
child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To
keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child
support payments to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, “Honey, you received a very strange post card today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it,” he said. The wife
handed him the card, and watched as her husband read the card,
turned white and collapsed.

On the card was written: “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with
meatballs, one without! Request bread…

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