Chuck the Rooster

A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN AND SEE A MOVIE.

THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, “SIR, WHAT’S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?”

 

George with Chuck

THE OLD FARMER SAID, “THAT’S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES.”

“I’M SORRY SIR,” SAID THE TICKET AGENT   “WE CAN’T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER.”

THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS. THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.

 

Mildred and Marge

THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. . . THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.

“MARGE,” WHISPERED MILDRED.

“WHAT?” SAID MARGE.

“I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT.”

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?” ASKED MARGE?

“HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT”, WHISPERED MILDRED.

“WELL, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT”, SAID MARGE.. “AT OUR AGE WE’VE SEEN ‘EM ALL”

“I THOUGHT SO TOO”, SAID MILDRED, “BUT THIS ONE’S EATIN’ MY POPCORN…!”

 

R U A ^*^ Newsmax Reader:

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Then you wonder why

This is SOOOOOO GOOOOOOD

….Then you wonder why

John Smith started the day early having set his alarmclock

 (MADE IN JAPAN )

for 6 am ..

While his coffeepot

(MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his

electric razor

(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a

dress shirt

(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans

(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and

tennis shoes

(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new

electric skillet

(MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his

calculator

(MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his

watch

(MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio

(MADE IN INDIA )

he got in his car

(MADE IN GERMANY )

filled it with GAS

(from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search

for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging

and fruitless day

checking his

Computer

(made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals

(MADE IN BRAZIL ),

poured himself a glass of

wine

(MADE IN FRANCE )

and turned on his

TV

(MADE IN INDONESIA ),

and then wondered why he can’t

find a good paying job

in AMERICA

AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT

MADE IN KENYA

You gotta keep this one circulating!

BUY AMERICAN DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Call of Wildman

Image: Video still of raccoon in car (© Animal Planet)

Via Animal Planet MORE here

Giving Thanks on Black Friday

While out with Mom & Dad yesterday – BLACK Friday – while so many were in the mist of thier shopping …. Mom – Dad & I cannot get in the hurry crowds as Daddy cannot walk that well and Mother is slow (age) – so we went shopping (I needed a new watch and went to Stein Mart for one – but nothing found I like…) so we ended up at an Antiuqe shop that I was grateful was open. The Antique Market –  A GREAT  place for various antiques.   It ended up being better than trying to ‘grab’ as so many do during these times….Spending time with them (even though Dad fins a chair and does some sitting) …it was a great day  And one I am grateful I had with them.  So below (which I cropped)

This was on a platter and It is so fitting for the times that probably so many do not think about or don’t know about or just totally forget….something that should be second natue alll year long.  

 

I’m do thankful and grateful that I still have my Mom & Dad when I know so many do not…but as blessings should be everyday, we (including me) do not always convey those feelings of love and being grateful.  So this is just my little way to let them know (even though they probably will never see this) …just how much I appreciate and love them.

 

 

 

Frogs for GRANDPAS

(Grandma said so)

 

OUGHT TO MAKE ALL GRANDPAS FEEL WARM & FUZZY

A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her

Grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts

into her Grandpa’s room …”Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “As

soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!”

“What?” said her Grandpa.

“Make a noise like a frog – because Grandma said that as soon as you

croak, we’re all going to Disneyland !!!

 

 

 

Baby Gorilla

Born in Chicago Zoo

First of its kind to be born there since 2005

Bana, a  female Western Lowland Gorilla,

sits with her newborn baby at the Lincoln Park Zoo

in Chicago, Ill., Nov. 18, 2011.

(Courtesy Todd Rosenberg Photography 2011)

More amazing Stories found  here at ABC NEWS

Verizon and My Mess

Verizon _

I’ve had this Samsung CHARGE phone and replaced it 3x’s and it is still doing some of the same things! It does not sync the contacts w/o a tech in store putting another account on the phone that I do not use ‘daily’ it is used as a backup…NOT loaded with contacts!  The phone …if I want to go to (back) HOME – the TASK Manager will show up. The phone … sometimes will NOT let ne sign-in to twitter or FB … with my passwords and another ‘sales person’ saw that because they let me use their instore computer to show the password that they had entered! The phone …does not always recognize that there is a CARD in the slot.  CARD must be loaded before it can operate! … There is one there! The phone … camera … takes and makes me blue – or even red(the red one I deleted in error) .. but if it were a once in a life time shot — to have it BLUE!!??  AND it takes pictures and turnes them UpSideDown … ^*^ … takes the picture completely NOT the direction in which it was taken. ((latest was yesterday when taking pics of papers for my Mothers Doctors Schecules … and they appeared every which way BUT they way they were taken!)) I’ve messaged (from the phone) the problems to four (4) of the people who I’ve dealth with and only one responded within time….the one who I bought the phone from – took two weeks to respond and still did nothing – and the only reason they responded is because someone else I talked with about the phone-(who thought I was crazy) told them! Enough is Enough…..I’m tired of Verizon ((or anyone representing VERIZON))NOT stepping up to the plate and doing something to keep ME as a customer! As one of the sales people said — the problem was not with Verizon – but Samsung because it is a Samsung phone – HE said that it was not his or Verizons problem – YET Verison and this or any Vereison SalesPerson will sell this phone that which I might POINT OUT in the event you and the others do not know — HAS the Verizon name on ALL the phones …. so YES it IS a Verizon Problem! Getting back to the messaging … I had asked them also to give the the contact names for someone ‘highger’ above their heads….YET to hear any names. Like the Store Manager – District Manager – Regional Manager and my next stop is to the Divional Manager!  If that does not work … I would find a way to get SOMEONE to listen! … jusT because someone else might not be having the same problem with this Samsung … I AM! and for the sales people to tell mne they knew that SamSung (and Verizon knew) had a glitch with their SmartPhones is a problem that all of the peole who are with Verizon should know about…Samsungs ‘regular’ phones are said to be OK … and YES I have a Samsung TV …. but I HATE what this CHARGE is doing for me.  I need this phone, my parents are 86 & 83 – Dad with Cancer & bad heart .. Mom OK .. but I HAVE CANCER — my brothers are dead … an d all of my Mom & Dad’s family are Out of Town ….THAT is why the PHONE and all it can do is so important to me. I wish I had gone to the APPLE store and Bought an iPHONE! AND said to H–# WITH ANY CONTRACT!

Now what can you do? And yes this will be posted!

THANK YOU NOTE!

Whether this is acurate or not – whether she wrote it or not – the news HAS previously reported about some of these things … so read and do not throw stones at me – I’m only passisng along what I read and know ‘some of’ like I know about seeing the hotel receipt for the lobster for two…. so take it as you will ….

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Thank you America !

 

Dear American Taxpayer

 

I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars for my vacation in Spain ..

My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time. Honestly, you just haven’t lived until you have stayed in a $2,500..00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury hotel.

Thank you also for the u se of Air Force Two and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times. By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol, I highly recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant in Marbella ; great lobster with rice and oysters!

Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate according to Government Accounting Office reports) only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. These are only rough estimates, but they are close. That’s quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.

I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you find work soon.

I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few days.

Cordially,

Michelle Obama

P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip to India !

P.S. Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to Martha’s Vineyard ; it was fabulous. And thanks for that second smaller jet that took our dog Bo to Martha’s Vineyard so we and the children could have him with us while we were away from the White House for eleven days. Muslims can’t fly on the same plane with their dog.

P.SSS. Oh, I almost forgot to thank you all for our “date weekend” in New York and to say thanks also for our two-week trip to Hawaii at Christmas. That 7,000 square foot house was great!

And finally, thanks for asking, we had a great time taking Air Force One to Chicago to tape our segment with Oprah a couple weeks ago, replete with full security, a separate plane for armored limousines and a full contingent of assistants.

Remember we all have to share the pain of these economic times equally! Love to -redistribute- share- the wealth.

STAND UP, SPEAK UP. NEVER SURRENDER!!!!

 

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Blessing begin …..

 

Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving – give THANKS to those you love now – forever and always…remember those in stress – and never forget the life of ones we’ve loved and lost … Thankful that they have – did – in one way or another touch our lives to make them richer for our blessing today.

This is a wish card for you………..

A Thanksgiving masterpiece by Jacquie Lawson [link]

*******************************************************

Newt – Among the best quotes …

This has got to be among the best quotes of all time.

 

  “As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given The Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his Name, because America gave him the White House based on The same credentials.” ~Newt Gingrich

Do you see My Face Within?

 

As I’m also known as ‘MothersHeart’

this is indeed “MothersHeart”

Drafting Guys Over 60

Drafting Guys Over 60  

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier… New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They’ve got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10  seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. ‘My back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry.’ We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn’t even liketo get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however… I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too… I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.  These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50…in menopause!!!

You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol.

They’ll have it secured the first night!

P R I C E L E S S !!

Balloon (aircraft)
Image via Wikipedia

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a
man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied,
“You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of
2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude
and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is
technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and
I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama-Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are — or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you
were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

P R I C E L E S S !!

Tree Shaping–Pooktre

Peter  and Becky of Australia have mastered the art of Tree Shaping.
Pooktre, as they have called it, has perfected a Gradual shaping  method, which is the shaping of trees as they grow along predetermined  designs.
Designing and setting up the supporting famework are  fundamental to
the success of a tree. Some are intended for harvest to be high quality indoor furniture  and others will remain living art.

 

Wonderful to enjoy the beauty of creativity!

 

Oh No!

image

This is what happened when I was trying to pull on a sweater with glasses on and the neck openings too small. .. . So remove the glasses and sit down on them because you are also going to put your shoes on!

That is what happens when one cannot see without glasses – well just see things blurred!

Lessons TAUGHT A Teacher from a STUDENT

* Worth the Read *

DO NOT DELETE 

——————————————————————————–
***As you can tell I received this this am in an e-mail and I
must admit I’ve never seen or read it,,,so instead of forwarding
it to my contacts – I’m posting for all who can to read & see
and hopefully they will forward it to.
BELOW is what I received.***
———————————————————————————
This has been around before; but, it’s so touching I just had to send it around again.      Anne
 
Subject:  DO NOT DELETE, RETURN IF YOU CAN’T FORWARD!!!!
——————————————————————————–

This is a true story and it will give you the chills.

This is a beautiful and touching story of love and perseverance. Well
worth the read.

At the prodding of my friends I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Honor and I am a former elementary school music teacher from DesMoines, Iowa .

 

 

I have always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons – something I have done for over 30 years.

During those years I found that children have many levels of musicalability, and even though I have never had the pleasure of having a prodigy, I have taught some very talented students.

However, I have also had my share of what I call ‘musically challenged’
pupils – one such pupil being Robby.

Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby. But Robby said that it had always been his mother’s  dream to hear him play the piano, so I took him as a student.

Well, Robby began his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought itwas a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel.  But he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary piano pieces that I require all my students
to learn.  Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. 
At the end of each weekly lesson he would always say ‘My mom’s going to hear me play someday’.  But to me, it seemed hopeless, he just did not have any inborn  ability.

I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled, but never dropped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming for his
lessons. I thought about calling him, but assumed that because of his lack of ability he had decided to pursue something else. I was also glad that he had stopped coming – he was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed a flyer recital to the students’ homes. To my surprise, Robby (who had received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and that because he had dropped out, he really did not qualify. 

 
He told me that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to his piano lessons, but that he had been practicing. ‘Please Miss Honor, I’ve just got to play’ he insisted. I don’t know what led me to allow him to play in the recital – perhaps it was his insistence or maybe something inside of me saying that it would be all right.

The night of the recital came and the high school  gymnasium was packed with parents, relatives and friends. I put Robby last in the program, just before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he might do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my ‘curtain closer’.

Well, the recital went off without a hitch, the students had been practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on the stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked as though he had run an egg beaterthrough it.  ‘Why wasn’t he dressed up like the other students?’  I thought. ‘Why didn’t his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?’
Robby pulled out the piano bench, and I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen to play Mozart’s Concerto No. 21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo, from allegro to virtuoso; his suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent!  


Never had I heard Mozart played so well by anyone his age.

After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo, and everyone was on their feet in wild applause!  Overcome and in tears, I ran up onstage and put my arms around Robby in joy.  ‘I have never heard you playlike that Robby, how did you do it?  
‘  Through the microphone Robbyexplained: ‘Well, Miss Honor …. remember I told you that my mom was sick? Well, she actually had cancer and passed away this morning. And well …… she was born deaf, so tonight was the first time she had ever heard me play, and I wanted to make it special.’

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, I noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy. I thought to myself then how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I have never had a prodigy, but that night I became a prodigy ……. of Robby.  He was the teacher and I was the pupil, for he had taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself, and maybe
even taking a chance on someone and you didn’t know why.

Robby was killed years later in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P.Murray Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April, 1995.

 

And now, a footnote to the story. If you are thinking about forwarding this message, you are probably wondering which people on your address list aren’t the ‘appropriate’ ones to receive this type of message.  The person who sent  this to you believes that we can all make a difference!
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice. Do we act with compassion or do we pass up that opportunity and leave the world a bit colder in the process?

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*** I hope you enjoyed the read and got something from it! ***
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