LADY DRIVERS OVER 50!?

A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding..
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see..Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies
If you want to brighten someone’s day, pass this on to someone you know who likes a chuckle.
I just did!

WERE YOU BORN 1930 – 1979

Those of You Born
1930 – 1979

At the end of this Email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.. If you don’t read anything else, Please Read what he Said.
Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children,
We would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day
Was always a special treat.

We drank water
From the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends,
From one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren’t overweight.
WHY?

Because we were
Always outside playing…that’s why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD‘s, no surround-sound or CD‘s,
No cell phones, No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us
Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn’t had to learn to deal
With disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years
Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others
who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
for our own good
.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know
how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house
with scissors, doesn’t it ?

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:
“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of swine flu
and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?’

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us.. ..go ahead and delete this.

For the rest of
us…pass this on.
A Small Prayer!

God determines who walks into your life….it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I need this back. If you’ll do this for me, I’ll do it for you.

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Father,
God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power
as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
Amen.

 

 

What’s going on?

The logo of the blogging software WordPress.
Image via Wikipedia

Ok this may be MY problem – within WordPress – or my E-Mail account with Comcast

Or a major problem with WordPress.

So here is the problem.  Getting notices that ‘you’ whom I’m following have posted something new

or that someone has ‘Liked’ or ‘commented’ on my post (wow .. that would be nice – few &

far between) … off subject – back to the problem …. and I’m getting nothing but a black

page of grey!

So is it a ME problem or a WordPress problem?  The only way to know if it is a WP problem

is to find out if any of you are having the same … oh I suppose you would like to see what I’m

talking about … ‘right’ .. I’ll get it now…

 

 

Now I know you will have to link on the picture to see it … but hopefully  you’ll get my drift!