LADY DRIVERS OVER 50!?

A mature (over 50) lady gets pulled over for speeding..
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see..Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies
If you want to brighten someone’s day, pass this on to someone you know who likes a chuckle.
I just did!

WERE YOU BORN 1930 – 1979

Those of You Born
1930 – 1979

At the end of this Email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.. If you don’t read anything else, Please Read what he Said.
Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were
Pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children,
We would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day
Was always a special treat.

We drank water
From the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends,
From one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren’t overweight.
WHY?

Because we were
Always outside playing…that’s why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD‘s, no surround-sound or CD‘s,
No cell phones, No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS
And we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us
Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn’t had to learn to deal
With disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years
Have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility,
and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others
who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives
for our own good
.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know
how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house
with scissors, doesn’t it ?

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:
“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of swine flu
and terrorist attacks.
Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?’

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us.. ..go ahead and delete this.

For the rest of
us…pass this on.
A Small Prayer!

God determines who walks into your life….it’s up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I need this back. If you’ll do this for me, I’ll do it for you.

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Father,
God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power
as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
Amen.

 

 

What’s going on?

The logo of the blogging software WordPress.
Image via Wikipedia

Ok this may be MY problem – within WordPress – or my E-Mail account with Comcast

Or a major problem with WordPress.

So here is the problem.  Getting notices that ‘you’ whom I’m following have posted something new

or that someone has ‘Liked’ or ‘commented’ on my post (wow .. that would be nice – few &

far between) … off subject – back to the problem …. and I’m getting nothing but a black

page of grey!

So is it a ME problem or a WordPress problem?  The only way to know if it is a WP problem

is to find out if any of you are having the same … oh I suppose you would like to see what I’m

talking about … ‘right’ .. I’ll get it now…

 

 

Now I know you will have to link on the picture to see it … but hopefully  you’ll get my drift!

 

 

Taco Recipes – Every Day with Rachael Ray

It might be early morning or just in time for these delicious looking tacos!

 

Avocado Salad-Topped Steak Tacos

Taco Recipes – Every Day with Rachael Ray.

 

My Wife

 

 

A Police STOP at 2 AM

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man replies, “That would be my wife .”

 

My time to Talk!

The logo of the blogging software WordPress.
Image via Wikipedia

 

I’ve often wondered WHY certain things have to be on any blog post no matter where you blog and I think it is more so here and I do not understand WHY it has to be.  We write or share for ourselves and hopefully others in some way with thoughts that something we have to say or something we’ve created (art) just might get the attention of …. I understand that ‘Tags’ and ‘Catagories’ are important for searching within the post …. but WHY do they have to appear on the post!?  We (I) like to read a blog … like a magazine.  Who WROTE it – When it was written – Do we like/love it!…

That is what I see when I look at a magazine … Not the Catagories the Article is listed in OR what TAGS might be associated with the story … …but the BODY of the story …  or the CAPTURE of the photography – that fllower – that face ….. WHAT about something that someone has MADE…Oh that Blueberry Cupcake Recipie (give it a try)  or that CLEVER way to use that scarf .. HOW to ..?…

Get the idea!?  So WHY do we HAVE to have those TAGS  &/Or CATAGORIES show on our Beautiful BLOG?

Clean up the CLUTTER WordPress.com …. give us the THEMES that are also used with  WordPress.org … are we NOT all WordPress er’s??? People create beautiful FREE themes to use with WordPress – but because we do not BUT space we cannot use those FREE ones … WordPress has the Theme Showcase Themes and some are really quite beauitful but not listed – what a shame that talent is being wasted.  If they were easier to use … like listed within the WordPress Themes ‘Link’ I just might find myself buying upgrades to WP – if they would just make it easier.  Not everyone knows CSS … (hint)….

Another thing — as I’ve got this thing going … I would love to see the use of font sizes (not everyone has perfect vision that reads (or tries to read) the blogs) … When size is so small even when we try to post our own … it would be nice to make a size fit our style…just like our front page Magazine! … This is My Blog! – I want you to Read it!…and See my Art … & come back for more from time to time!

Oh – That’s all I have for now .. but maybe one day I’ll give you what I think would make a perfect WP Blog layout!  Right!?

Have a Blessed Day – No matter when you read this!

 

Made Today with the free program Apophysis

 

Where Are You?

Hello Gang…

Wonder why with subscribers (old & new) that I’ve not had the first like or comment in now two weeks.

Changed the Theme – Added a few posts & nothing!

Wonder if this account on WordPress has been HACKED as has been with FaceBook – and previously on Twitter….

If  you are out there and follow can you say something so I know!  Thanks!

WHAT PILOTS SEE WHEN LANDING AT OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE

A farmer does this with his tractor. He uses GPS to get the letters readable.
He has done this every fall for several years now.
Here’s the view from the flight pattern into OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE
Bellevue, NE., just south of Omaha .
This is what our servicemen see when landing at Offutt AFB.
Hat tip to the Bellevue farmer who made it happen!
 
Okay e-mail buddies, let’s keep this going until everyone has seen it
Without the news media’s help.
This should have made national news.
Imagine how this must feel to all those servicemen
Seeing it for the first time.
It tells them that we do care and that we do support them.
Let’s make it a BIG THANK YOU by sending it around the world.

New World Record

‘The Dutchess’ Shows Off Record Breaking Nails

 

Grosssssssss to me!

 

 

‘America’s Got Talent’ : And the Winner Is …

Singer Landau Eugene Murphy Jr.

claims the million dollar prize

 

 

America’s Got Talent had a great season.

Judges were right on in my opinion.

The American people got this one right.

*** Thanks to the Judges ***

Piers MorganSharon OsbourneHowie Mandel

&

NBC ^*^ America’s Got Talent ^*^ HOST ^*^ Nick Cannon

What I would love to see ? … I give that information to LANDAU

… Cogratulations! to them all…

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^

 

There Are 53 U.S. States?!

According to this college student, there is only one senator and the U.S. borders Europe.

Where are the parents in all this.  They are paying for WHAT??????

And we want them to determine who runs as President & our country!

 

 

Some things just don’t need….

Why we are Proud

From the Darkness of the Day

 

Memories will continue but as the World continues

to grow with each passing year WE continue

to NEVER Forget the events of that Day

The DEATH of those whose lives were cut too short.

This year the Tenth YEAR
We as a Poeple of the Worlds
 World of Nations who were stunned that day
brought the darkness into the light
turning the Darkest Day on American Soil
into the Bright Hope of the future that lies ahead.
 
From this day forward it is my hope that as we continue to
Remember from Year to Year
as we’ve stated
We Will Never Forget
^*^
To now remember not those lives lost
but to turn and remember the lives that
WERE SAVED!
There is WHITE Hope
as the White Dove with the sign of peace
to continue with the WHITE to overtake the darkness
that shattered our lives and our world that day
September 11, 2001
 
Today I wore my White Shirt as the
symbol I created (WhiteShirts) to bring the
Life back into the hearts and mind of those who
we not only lost as a person
but a person who we shared
laughter, love, joy, fear, death, birth, work, freedom, play,
together as one unit or a family of freinds and family
We all lost whether we were connected or not
Because of that day we are now forever connected in the Darkness
that we need to turn to the light of white beauty day
Would the loved ones really want us to stop and dwell on the darkness
or build futures brighter than they could have imagined
I hope tht those who lost loved ones know just how
much the World as a Whole Unit
felt your pain that day and the days that would come
May all those who have gone continue to rest in peace
but may you savor the joys of life share with them in your hearts
 
 
 
This is my last 10 year remberance wearing the
WHITE SHIRT for all of your loved ones.

(yes it is White!)

^*^ From this Day ^*^

 

 – This might say it all –

Why we remember

September 11, 2001

Why we will Never Forget

September 11, 2011

 
Ten Years Later

we the people

still carry the grief & share the tears

^*^ ^*^ ^*^ ^*^ ^*^

My White Shirt…

2011 9 10

This was my White Shirt for September 10th … as per my previous postings … I wanted AMERICA & the WORLD to take three days to remember September 11th, 2001 for this the tenth year by wearing WHITE!

Let’s turn the Day of BLACK….

  into the

DAY OF WHITE….

*** WHITE ***

“Wear White T-Shirts”

TEN (10) Years WE REMEMBER

September 2001-2011

While you are out & about during those times …

think of what THEY cannot do that YOU still can!

Enough tears of ten years ….

White to share the LOVE that
so many family & friends LOST.

Time to MOVE ON & SMILE
that LIFE is and can be GOOD!

Let’s turn the Day of BLACK into the

DAY OF WHITE….

for the 10 Years since Septemeber 11!

TO SHOW WE DID NOT FORGET & NEVER WILL

 

 

http://t.co/jjVgwpK

* White Shirts * 9-11-2001-2011

This is my WhiteShirt for Today 9-9-2011

Which one will be one of yours for Today?

#WhiteShirts 

September 11,2001- September 11, 2011

TEN YEARS * #LOVE 

http://bit.ly/nWHxHh

Get Records Together

IF you ever looked at anyones records – or the name you
are sending these things to – you just might find ….

THAT I ALREADY HAVE A POLICY WITH YOU!!!!!!!

Get the S#@# Straight & stop wasting $ with paper products
that don’t need to be sent IF YOU had done your work!

Get ALL Your Records Together!!!!!!!

 

^^*^^ This is reference to all those we (I) recieve like the one yesterday

from Physicians Life Insurance Co  ^^*^^ but don’t forget the other ones

that do the SameThing!  ^*^  AARP  ^*^  AAA  ^*^ Xfinity ^*^ AT&T  ^*^

who else could we list!? Many I’m sure – especially when you’ve told

someone that You don’t want it – already have it – or any other thing you

might have told them!

 Why don’t they practice the ‘going green’ a little more – maybe I don’t

like the electronic info stuff – but all this paper is so useless and wasteful!

*****There should be a ‘do not write’ letter!*****

WHITE SHIRTS

 

 the 9-11 Event that everyone can do!

 Remembering September 11, 2001

Ten Years Later

 

 

 http://bit.ly/nWHxHh 

^*^Just leave A comment here ^*^

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

^(^(^(^(^(^^(^(^(^^(^(^)^)^)^)^)^)^)^)^)^

This is A Way to Remember September 11th – 10 Years

 

 

September 11, 2011 – When America and the American way was Attacked!

The Twin Towers, The Field, The Pentagon

With the Memorial years in the making – lets show our way of celebrating their lives for us. 

What would be nice to do for the upcoming (just around the corner) for the Ten (10) Years that changed all of our lives in some way or another …. It is something that I will never forget … and I know that there are so many more that will not forget either.  AND that does not include any of the family members and their friends of those lost. 

That was a Day of BLACK! September 11, 2001

I would like to start something … to show that all of those within the Social Media and beyond come together to let the families know we will NEVER Forget.

Everyone has a T- shirt or Shirt — THAT is WHITE!

Let’s turn the Day of BLACK into the DAY OF WHITE….

EVERYONE wear WHITE SHIRTS on September 11, 2011 …. the TEN Years We Have Not Forgotten & Will Never Forget!

Wear them the days of
September 9th … 10th & 11th …

Friday is a WORK DAY – so maybe the OFFICE you work will
do something!

Saturday is usually a FUN DAY – Family & Friends Plans!

Sunday is the Day it turned BLACK and WE WILL turn it WHITE!


Friday – Saturday – Sunday the days to start healing

Can we start this going around and see where it ends.

I will never see the actual memorial but it would be wonderful to see thos white shirts

showing the WORLD we did NOT Forget … Remember there were not just Americans

who were lost that day … It was a day that the AMERICAN peopel came together

and we can do this again in a positive way!

Wear White to show the LOVE we have & the LOVE we all lost that Day! 

**has been posted here** The nell walton Daily ▸ http://paper.li/nellwal/2011/09/02