When your eyes are full of wonder-look up
& know from where it came!
When your eyes are full of wonder-look up
& know from where it came!
They’re out there and they’ll breed!! They will become our future senators, police, doctors and airline pilot‘s!! Once again our super school system at work!!!!
ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
The following questions were set in last year’s GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)….and they WILL breed.
Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q. How is dew formed.
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans.
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on.
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections.
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope).
Q.. What happens to your body as you age.
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty.
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true).
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.
Q. What is artificial insemination ***.
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour.
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant).
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen).
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U. Duh!
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie.
Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
Q. What is the most common form of birth control.
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work).
Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section‘.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit.)
Q. What is a terminal illness.
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.
Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.
Nose – odd subject – but if you’ve ever had any type of nose surgery you can relate.
This may seem strange – but please just follow me here……
On the 23rd of March I had surgery on the nose – which actually started over a year ago when I had complained to a Doctor at Mayo Clinic about my unusual headaches – he did the usual EEG – MRI of my lower back which I also had told this doctor about with my back being ‘out of wack’ and needed checking (mind you he only did and MRI of the very lower back) and when I mentioned that my headaches were NOT migraine (I know what those are) it was not stress related – it was just ‘not’ a headache and that I felt an MRI of my brain )((which I have one Every Year)) and one was over due – HE Told me.. “You don’t need one – but I’ll do one if it will please you and you think you need it.”
Now forward fast to current – same hospital & Doctors location – was sent by another doctor here in town for 2nd opinion – from which this doctor I was sent to from another doctor in town who listened to me and my problems with not only my pain problems but the problem with understanding my back and my headaches……..THIS doctor is one who listened – sent me for EEG & MRI – (But not only just an MRI of the Back —- but the FULL BACK/SPINE – and included and FULL MRI of the Brain – and X-Ray of the lungs, and when the results came back – lungs fine….back/spine showed the displacement of my spine all UP & DOWN but also a tear in the lower spine ( the Lumbar / Cervical / Thurastic ) .. and then the MRI results of the BRAIN – – – said problem IN PART might be coming from a sinus infection!! —- so now do you see where this began and where it takes me?
This doctor understood – sent me to the doctor who confirmed – who in turn sent me to another doctor for a second oppinion (at Mayo Clinic) and he is the one who did this surgery!
HE did three surgeries on my nose and while my nose is still not to it’s normal state that Mom & Dad & I remember my ‘small’ nose to be … we had become so use to seeing each other every day that some things you just take for granted – like getting old ‘er’ and thngs change…but Mom & Dad had mentioned about my face to themselves….(come to understand that my face was swollen — the left side was full of infection under the cheek which is in part of the nose) ((and back a few months earlier my ‘new’ eye doctor found that I had eye infection -that is also another story)) — but all things within the face are somehow connected.
While I keep in mind that I am so improving – I must remember that this was originally scheduled for the 6th of April ( which was the day after Mom’s Birthday ’83’ ) and with the change – ON her birthday we had the Surgery 1st Follow-up .. and good results – then we were able to go on to dinner etc and enjoy the afternoon! … MOTHER has been such an angel in all this. The Nasal Irrigation which started the Saturday after the surgery Mom has done for me … and I’m so thankful & grateful for her being able to help me with this…..this is one part I just do not think that I could have done mysself…..
The surgery (as I mention) was moved up from the April 6th date to March 23 date – so the afternoon before when I had to rush things through and see the doctor he wanted to know if I knew exactly what he was going to do – I said NO – and did not want to know! — as things had been moved up (becuase before I had plently of time to read the info) … I had glanced 0ver the info …. and that was Enough …
So the Surgeries —-
If you’ve ever had NOSE surgery or know someone who has – Don’t bother their nose!
If you see something out of ‘place’ with the nose – check it!
So there you have it – why I’ve been lack in responding to your posts or posting much of anything!
While the picture above was taken yesterday you can certainly see the
improvement from the day of surgery!!! — But can you see some difference
“The grandmother in Kenya is on record saying he was born in Kenya,” Trump said. “The hospital has, not only no birth certificate — or if they have it they should produce it, maybe there is something on it, who knows — but they have no records that he was there.
Read More at Newsmax.com: Trump: Grandma Says Obama Was Born in Kenya
Thursday, 07 Apr 2011 08:38 AM
By Hiram Reisner
Makes 12 • From the kitchen of Grace Fugate Spencer
Make a custard of the following ingredients: sugar, egg yolks, lemon juice, and grated rind of lemons. The custard should be cooked over water until it coats a spoon. Dissolve gelatin in cold water. Add to custard the dissolved gelatin. In a bowl, beat 6 egg whites very stiff and add gradually 3/4 cup sugar. Pour the lemon custard into egg whites. Tear into bite size pieces one large angel food cake then fold into above mixture lightly with two forks. Grease 8 x 12″ baking dish with salad oil and pour mixture into dish. Place in refrigerator and leave overnight. Before serving, ice with whipped cream. (Remove from refrigerator one hour before serving)
Have you ever been awakening from a night’s sleep to know that you ‘found’ (that Perfect Something) wll mine was the perfect candy — when you just needed that taste – not toooo sweet – not really candy taste – but candy all the same? I did this morning – and I was discovering that – that perfect just a bite of candy is butterscotch!
I’ve been having these weird dreams of things since my surgery on the 23rd of March, and could that surgery have something to do with my remembering my dreams? They say everyone dreams (which I used to do a lot) – but not everyone remembers them.
Another dream I had was one talking to two ‘chaps’ about a eatery~! They were going to do the work & cooking, I was telling them how it was to be laid out – what the menu was going to be … etc…. down to the name of the place! “Artists Nook” … Only open Breakfast & Lunch Eggs – Fruit – Breads…Fun things to eat – but in a hurry – don’t worry – we’re ready! with specific things….(Yes I told them what that was to be too)…..
SEE the place would have delightful colorful artful dishes for breakfast – eggs benedict, fresh fruit, special breads, just to name one — then on the go with fruits & salads all fresh – like greens and rasberries, oranges with slice bread! At least I have the ideas! AND of course ther Artists works in a little ‘nook’ which most certainly would house some of my hand-painted glass. And making the dishes (to be quick) in my head and unique for all that would be coming!
So see these dreams are unusualy – weird & wonderful!
(( and I might add-Very Real )).
Here is a new way to look at a deck of cards!!
Please do not delete! You will be glad you didn’t.
It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn’t been heard.
The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, ‘Why aren’t you with the rest of the platoon?’
The soldier replied, ‘I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.’
The sergeant said, ‘Looks to me like you’re going to play cards.’
The soldier said, ‘No, sir . You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,
I’ve decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.’
The sergeant asked in disbelief, ‘How will you do that?’
‘You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments
The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .
The Five is for the five virgins there were ten but only five of them were glorified.
The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.
The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives — the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.
The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.
The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God’s first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.
The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week – 52 weeks in a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter..
Each suit has thirteen cards — there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.’
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, ‘Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?’
Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting
Prayer for the Military.
Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it’ll be worth it to read on….
Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Bless them and their families
I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.
There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.
Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.
Do not stop the wheel, please — just send this on.
When forwarding, please keep this letter clean by deleting all forwarding information from the subject line and from the top of the letter.
In God I Trust!
THANK GOD EACH DAY FOR OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN IN THE SERVICE PROTECTING US WHERE WE CAN BE SAFE.
TOKYO — A dog that survived in a house swept away to sea three weeks ago by the devastating Japan tsunami was saved on Friday by a coast guard rescue team flying over an island of debris.
Local television showed an aerial view of a brown medium-sized dog trotting around the roof of the house — the only part of it floating above water — before disappearing inside through a broken section of the roof.
The coast guard rescuers, thinking there might also be people alive inside the house, lowered one of their team onto the roof.
He tried to coax the dog out, but then went in after tearing a wider opening. He came out with the dog in his arms and they were transported back to safety by boat.
Domestic media said no people were found inside the house.
My personal blog about gardens and my horticultural world
Climbing, Outdoors, Life!
The Way of Piano
Poetry and grim tales from my mind.
A Blog About Writing, Creative Ideas, And Making A Difference In The World. I'm A Writer Who Helps Other Writers And Creative Individuals Find Their Passion And Share It With The World.
of organic poems, multifarious prose, rambunctious ramblings, and queer dreams
Just your average PhD student using the internet to enhance their CV
Don't try to move mountains by yourself. You'll hurt your back. God can help.
Trying to live a creative life
In your light, I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest, where no one sees you.
welcome to my past, present and future mixed with whatever pops up right now