George Carlin’s Views on Aging


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
“How old are you?””I’m four and a half! “You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
“How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You   become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!
But then you   turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME  21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you  REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
So you  BECOME 21,
                     TURN 30,
                     PUSH 40,
                  REACH 50,
                  and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90’s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!” May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
  1. Throw out nonessential numbers.This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them.”
  2. Keep only cheerful friends.The grouches pull you down.
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop” And the devil’s name is  Alzheimer’s.
  4. Enjoy the simple things.
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  6.The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
  9. Don’t take guilt trips.Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don’t send this to at least 8 people- who cares?
But do share this with someone.

We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

RIP 1937-2008

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One thought on “George Carlin’s Views on Aging

  1. With the passing of George Carlin, the iconic political and social, irreverential, comedian of the baby boomer generation, there seems to be a growing groundswell of nostalgia for those late ‘60’s and 70’s. Every time we hear one of George’s biting remarks or blue collar everyday life observations, most of us baby boomers remember back to the time when we first heard his comedy skits either on the radio or on his album, “The seven words you can never say on TV”. We were probably listening to his comedy under a haze of smoke (Except for yours truly, of course. I never inhaled, though Lord knows I tried. The incessant coughing just made me nerdier than I already was.).

    Is it me or has our generation entered the Nostalgic Age? Why else would we be so excited to see another Indiana Jones sequel? Whenever we hear that Clint Eastwood is doing another movie we hope he is on the right side of the camera this time, reliving his Dirty Harry days or sitting on his horse wearing a sombrero, serape, and that mangy ol’ cheroot dangling from his lips saying virtually nothing the whole movie and yet making us want more. And when Saturday Night Live airs reruns from their first few years with Dan Aykroyd, Jim Belushi, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and the rest, do you notice that they run it during “ old people’s hours”, I E. before 11:00PM ( personally I’m thankful)?

    Why is the only music we consider worth listening to classic rock? There is no new music for those of us over 45. Hip Hop- well, most of us considers it an art form, not music. Pop music…are you kidding? Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, and those bands with the funny names…I don’t think so! Not like our bands; Cream, The Doors, The Electric Prunes, The Turtles…now there’s some names you can wrap your bellbottoms around. And, Country…well we still have Willie but no more Waylon. It’s just not the same. Artists like the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Neil Young, James Taylor, Tom Petty and even Neil Diamond, are as popular today as they were 30 years ago. Many of them have made a resurgence in recent years; all the more proof that the Nostalgic Age is upon us. All of you who know someone over 50 who is still playing in a rock band and trying to make it big (this author included), raise your hands.

    Each time I hear the theme song for the sitcom, Mash, I get a feeling that something great has been lost, even though the reruns are everywhere. When Alan Alda played a recurring role on the West Wing, I wonder how much their Nielsen ratings increased in our demographic? But, was his hair a little thinner and a little grayer? Isn’t it hard to see some of our most endearing generational figures growing old and becoming, well senior citizens… kind of like many of us? The recent rumors that Paul Newman, now 83 (!),is ailing makes me heartsick. The very first movie I ever saw as a teenager was Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. That movie defines who I was back then and Robert Redford and Paul are still two of my heroes.

    Can I really be considered an “older man “now? I feel just like I did 30 years ago on the inside (though I can’t say the same for the outside). Career-wise I have peaked and am now on the downward slope of my working life. I choose jobs more for how they make me feel rather than how much they pay. Retirement is now something I can almost see on the not too distant horizon. And, oh my God, my son is the same age as I was when he was born! I can’t believe that I am actually looking forward to becoming a grandpa. I used to be the youngest in the room. When did I become the oldest?

    The world back then had its problems. We had a conflict few Americans supported in a land far away (At least we learned a lesson and now cherish our warriors, even if we don’t like the war.), gas lines, the loss of respect for the oval office as we watched Richard Nixon stepping onto the helicopter for the last time. Racial unrest was simmering just below the surface.

    We are the generation that watched a man land on the moon back when a single computer filled an entire room. We have since watched the computer shrink to something held in our hand. We started out using dial phones, then push button, to portable to car phones to cell phones that now someone can use it to text, go on the internet, download music, use as a GPS, and so much more. (That someone is not me. Calls come in, calls go out…that’s it…period…forever!)

    The one thing I am just now learning is that nostalgia can be a dangerous pastime. Everything always looks better and brighter in the rear view mirror. It’s now more important than ever to take each day…no, make that each minute, one at a time. Enjoy now because that’s all we are promised. Don’t leave words and feelings left unsaid. Tell your kids you love them. And go kiss you spouse. That’s where I am going as soon as I finish this sentence.

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